I’m talking about my memory.

When I was 25, I had a pretty severe seizure without any warning.  Soon after, I was heavily dosed on medication to prevent me from having another, and in the process it prevented me from doing much of anything.  Every time I would go to the doctor for a follow up visit I would explain my side effects from the medication (dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, coordination problems).  I’d struggle to put my thoughts in complete sentences without getting confused or forgetting what I wanted to say.  My Neurologist reminded me that much of the time they never find out what causes seizures and that sometimes the benefits of medication outweigh the cons.  Which… ya know, wasn’t especially encouraging.

Word got around quickly about what happened and people reacted in a variety of different ways.  Some wanted to know I was okay, while others assumed I was brain damaged.  In the beginning, I didn’t know the answer to either.

See… what I went through at that point wasn’t just a grand mal seizure, but an enormous amount of stress over what role (if any) they would play in the rest of my life.  Immediately following, my memory from one day to the next was gone.  I didn’t realize this of course, but my family would tell me about conversations I’d repeat.  In addition to memory loss, the medication made me foggy and confused.  The worst experience was one day while speaking at an event, my speech started slurring and I had no way to control it.  I was absolutely mortified, specifically because I have always been a strong speaker and comfortable in front of large crowds.  After that, I began to pressure myself to work longer hours so no one would know anything was different, all the while in fear that I could have another seizure.  After my speech slurred (which, by the way was a side effect of the medication and not the seizure), I began to isolate because I felt it was too hard to hide both the effects of the seizure and the side effects of the medication.

It was a long journey to finding the right solution and ultimately regaining my self-confidence.  Long story short, things got worse before they got better.  Two years after my first seizure I had another while I was driving and was in a three-car accident (thankfully, everyone was fine).  Determined to find the cause, I met with a new team of Neurologists and Epileptologists, and spent a week in the hospital with wires glued to my head  (which… you can imagine, was a real treat.)  But it worked.  I was able to start a medication that didn’t make me feel like I was losing my mind, and was finally able to continue living a normal life without having to feel constant anxiety and stress.  It goes without saying that everything I went through changed my life.  Looking back, here’s what I learned:

1.  Beauty is fleeting.  Thank God for that.

My experiences helped me (narrowly) escape from being just another workaholic who put too much thought into others’ opinions.  Not to mention, I was spared from the cycle of depression that consumes many women in life.  I was proactive about my health and did everything in my power to get the best treatment, even if it meant second opinions.  My conclusion: how people perceive you is largely based on how you present yourself.

2. People can be hurtful. That’s their problem.

One of my friend’s has a daughter who is severely epileptic and at a young age suffered brain damage, leaving her with the approximate mental capacity of a 2 year old for the rest of her life.  My friend didn’t move her daughter to assisted living to be cared for by strangers because of this.  She gave her anything she wanted, knowing there were so many things in life she would never be able to have.  She dedicated 100% of her life to her daughter, for reasons I only started to appreciate years later.  Temporarily losing my memory gave me, for a brief time, a very small taste of what my friend’s daughter encounters every day of her life. I pity people who equate someone’s circumstances with their value as a person. This in general applies to people judging you for anything at all.  In the end, you come to find that the most vocal critics are often the most insecure.

3. Other people have things you don’t. Big deal.

There is no such thing as being the most beautiful person in the world (sorry Belles). Besides, who cares? If there were, it would only last long enough for the next pretty thing to walk through the door.   What is considered desirable is not necessarily worth getting hung up on. You may never be a five-foot-ten Victoria’s Secret Model with legs up to your neck – but for all you know, that same model would give her left arm to have your hair. This same idea applies to wealth, success, talent, and intelligence as well. Envying someone else is a zero-sum game, and uses far too much time and energy.  Use that energy expanding your knowledge on something you find interesting.

4. Confidence doesn’t come overnight.

It also doesn’t happen in a salon or a department store; it requires learning to love and accept yourself for who you are.  As with anything else worth having, it’s a lot work. But let me tell you, it’s totally worth the effort.  Confidence happens when you let it happen.  No one can give it to you, which is great, because it also means they can’t take it away.

5. When someone says I am beautiful, they really mean it.

There is something about knowing someone sees you, flaws and all, and likes what they see… something rare and kind of overwhelming. ‘Beautiful’ is one of those words that has lost meaning in being overused as a generic affirmative.  However, beauty really does come in many forms and I constantly push myself to grow intellectually as much as possible so I’m not relying on anything that will only fade over time.  I’m happy to be different enough that anyone who uses it to describe me sees more than just hair and makeup.

6.  Attitude is everything.

In the end, life is hard for everyone… it’s how you choose to face adversity that really matters.

Okay I admit, this self proclaimed Independent Belle spends a little time daydreaming of Prince Charming, even if right now my definition of bliss includes a large enough 401(k) to retire early and an evening at Stuart Weitzman rather than “happily ever after“.  Fact is, we’ve probably already met “Mr. Right” only he went by another name.  Maybe you called him “Mr. Bad Timing”, “Mr. Needy”, or my favorite, “Mr. Just-A-Friend”. See, I think in a world where we’re constantly striving for perfection, we look for it in someone else even though we willingly acknowledge our own flaws.  Ultimately we know that perfection is a relative term and more importantly, not possible 100% of the time.  Personally, I’ve only met one man (aka Captain America) who has even gotten remotely close but fate intervened, (in the form of his employer), and transferred him to Europe… and there’s certainly nothing perfect about that.  :-)

As a result of this fixation on perfection, many of us end up doing 1 of 2 things, 1. Come to grips with the reality that a “Mr. Designer” doesn’t exist and therefore settle for that which appears to be designer quality but soon malfunctions and reveals major flaws… i.e. “Mr. Knockoff”, or 2. Avoid the situation altogether and instead indulge ourselves in pretty shoes, gadgets, heavy workloads, little black dresses, FOOD, more food, and Cosmos topped off with bottles of Prosecco to wash it all down and make it all go away.  You name it, chances are we’ve all been there and done it, and I can assure you stick figure sisters are no exception.  The problem is, neither of these options benefit us!

Does it seem easier to continue to give “Mr. Right Now” time we know he’s not worthy of when we could be spending it doing a variety of other things less disruptive to our personal lives?  Or better yet, is it O.K. that the only man showing up at our door on a regular basis is the Pizza Delivery Boy?  I know, it all seems a little extreme when put this way.  The fact is, whether we’re settling for an unfulfilling relationship or stuffing our faces and closets… we’re cheating ourselves because we aren’t living our lives in a way that makes us happy.

Here is what I propose: for my fellow Belles who are about to give their first kiss of the decade to “Mr. Right Now” … go on and get your kiss girlfriends but afterwards make a commitment to yourself that you will not compromise your standards for fear of losing someone you love.  Do not stand for any treatment that you wouldn’t want for your sister, niece, best friend, etc.  And finally, pursue something that makes you genuinely happy and can remain entirely your own so you always keep perspective on your sense of self.

And for my fellow Belles who will be ringing in the New Year being fabulous and single… don’t forget to mingle.  Make a commitment to yourself to put yourself out there, even if it means feeling a little vulnerable at first.  If you’re tired of the same 2 bars in your 3 road town, get online!  Personally, I feel like the South is filled with tons of beautiful and intelligent women who have a handful of eligible bachelors to pick from.  This results in that handful of guys losing their grip on reality and thinking it’s acceptable to treat women like daily soup specials.  This, Belles, automatically makes that handful of guys a perfect example of “Mr. Knock Off”.  They look good, but they don’t know how to act!  Don’t limit yourself to a 10 mile radius if 6 of it is farm land… the only way you’ll meet someone new is if his car breaks down on the side of the road. Instead, make it a team effort, confide in a friend and start your search together so you’ll have something new to dish about, hence a reason to get out of the house and meet for a drink once a week!

The bottom line is, we have to stop daydreaming and start living.  If there is an area of life that you’ve neglected while focusing on other goals, it’s time to play catch up.  Personally, I’ve spent a huge amount of energy and time focused on my professional life the past few years.  I even wonder at times if my success is a disadvantage for me in the dating scene.  Is my selection limited to men who can’t stand on their own two feet, begging me to take them on like a new project OR men who are equally successful, but emotionally unavailable.  Highly unlikely, but who knows the answers to any of our questions if we don’t get out there and find them ourselves?!

Come on Belles, say farewell to the Pizza Boy and trash that old wannabe, “Mr. Knock Off”.  Let’s make ourselves available to the lucky guy that is waiting for our fabulous ass to walk into his life!

Considering I spent a few years with guys who were “just not that into me”, its a great feeling and accomplishment to have confidence in myself.  As a result, I’ve made smarter choices in relationships and have dated some wonderful men.  There very well might be another guy down the road who is “just not that into me”, but that’s alright… as we all learn, the ones who aren’t into you will eventually lead you to the one who is, if that is what you ultimately choose.

So, this post is for those Belles who are ,like me, out there on the dating scene again.  Since this is one area where I have a few years of experience, I initially composed the following for my sister after she started dating again after her divorce.  Below that is a hilarious “masterpiece” my great friend wrote to steer me clear of as many, umm… D-bags (as my friend Nickole refers to them) as possible:

Belles -

* Don’t put your drink down at a bar, guys are more desperate than you’d think.  * Most guys just want to sleep with you.  * Be confident, but humble and kind.  * Be friendly but genuine.   * No city is big enough to avoid running into a one night stand.  * Mr. Right isn’t going to come to rescue you or sweep you off your feet; these days you have to be proactive and smart about it.  Nothing just “happens” to you.  * If they can’t cook, clean, and pay their mortgage then they had better be able to afford to have someone do it for them (that isn’t you.)    * If they live with their parents, you’re “just not that into HIM” no exceptions!  *Shots at bars + strange men = big mistake, & not one worth making.  * Shots with men period = mistake; (save stupid decisions for nights out with your girlfriends).  * If your text message includes a picture of your tits, expect to see it on someone else’s phone at some point down the road.  *Girlfriends don’t let girlfriends go home with ugly, weird, cheap, old, married, dirty, disrespectful, or aggressive guys.  * If 1 in 5 people get herpes, be the 4 out of 5 that put a hat on it.  * As a matter of fact, always carry a condom in your purse; don’t expect a guy to be responsible.  * Please note: You have to ask your OBGYN to test you for sexually transmitted diseases EVERY YEAR, they don’t do it automatically.   * Get a vibrator; you’re a big girl.  * If you like girlie drinks but are at a Pub and forced to order a beer, try a Hacker Pschorr (pronounced: Hacker Shore) or Blue Moon.  * My favorite beer is Stella, you should try it at least once.  * Pick a charity or topic of interest to learn more about… in the beginning dating has little to do with work and family so you want to have plenty of things to talk about; passions show depth.  * Quit going to the same places (or my New Year’s Resolution for 2008); make an effort to try one new place a month.  * Happy Hours at bars in downtown business buildings (or next to them, down the street, etc.) are great places to meet nice, employed, and MOSTLY single men.  * Note: No ring does not = no wife  * If you do give out your number, ONLY see him again if he asks you on a PROPER FIRST DATE… that means he picks you up, there is a dinner or planned activity, and he brings you home.  I’ve tried it and it’s actually fun, let me know what you think!  * If you question someone’s integrity, there is usually a reason why  * Make a list of all the qualities you want in someone, just don’t forget to list the basics.  * Know your worth and don’t let anyone tell you different.  * It’s okay to NOT be interested in somone romantically just because he’s a good looking, successful, wealthy, educated, and seemingly perfect guy… just because he’s someone else’s definition of “Right” doesn’t mean he has to be yours.  * You are great, anyone you date should think so too. No exceptions  * Life has many happy endings and some of the best don’t include or require a man.  * Spend time before you leave the house trying to look your best, after you leave just have fun.  * Most of all, when it comes to men and dating… BE PARTICULAR!  If you pick the wrong one, you just end up back at the drawing board so you might as well save yourself some time upfront.

And finally, pulled from the archives (2004)… the infamous “Rules Of Allowed Ass & Crushes” by my friend who is funny, beautiful, smart, and now… happily married to a very lucky man.

One of the tasks that comes with moving is going through everything and taking inventory of all your “stuff”.  More specifically, the “stuff” you’ve tucked away so you aren’t reminded of it (or in this case, him) all the time.

I’ve remained acquaintances with most of my Exes and despite my independent nature, I’ve even had my fair share of serious relationships.  (I suppose that’s what happens when you near 30 and still check the “Single” box…) Thus far, the main characters in my love life I’ll refer to as The Artist,  The Player (technically a baseball player, however, unfortunately remembered for his playing off the field), The Trader, The Business Man, The Golfer, and Captain America.  Ahh, just listing their names brings back memories of naivete and lessons learned.

It also brings up the question of whether you can be friends with an ex.  I used to think so, but as years go by, I’m becoming a skeptic.  Let’s face it, if the relationship didn’t end disasterous and you remain friends while both being single… there’s always the possibility that it could go back to being more.  However, when a new love interest comes into the picture, things seem to shift into the Fight or Flight mode.

This brings me to my latest “Ex” encounter, which happened to be with The Golfer.  The Golfer is a Professional Golfer, as opposed to The Businessman who played golf enough to make it his profession.  Everything moved so quickly with The Golfer from the day we met.  Our first 5 months were a whirlwind of romance and laughter.  I’ve never been with anyone so kind and considerate.  He thought of something little every day to make me happy.   But for whatever reason, (a few actually, some logical and others out of fear), I woke up one day and realized we were moving much faster than I was ready for.  A few months went by and I wished my feelings would change, but they didn’t and ultimately it ended in a very sad split… possibly the worst I’ve had.

See, in past breakups there has always been an exploding bomb, an undeniable reason why things needed to end.  I was always able to walk away from the situation and know that I would be better off.  My breakup with The Golfer was different, and I’ve always questioned my decision to split, my ability to have a balanced life, and whether or not my priorities were in the right order.  After a couple months, we became friends again… which I now realize was the beginning of a very fuzzy definition of friendship.  In many ways, looking back, he never stopped being the man in my life even though our friendship wasn’t romantic.  Sure, there were moments with sparks, but we never discussed it.  Until recently…

The past few months have been a combination of bad timing and failed efforts to rekindle the flame (on both our parts).  Recently, as I was sorting through my “stuff”, I came across a few things he had left behind that I had conveniently tucked out of sight.  I gathered the items and decided I’d drop them off while I was out running errands that evening.  What followed went something like this: I knock on The Golfer’s door, an unfamiliar man answers.  I ask for The Golfer, and the nice man tells me he moved in a few weeks ago and has no idea who The Golfer is.  I stood there like a deer in headlights…

Where did he go and why had he not mentioned he was moving?  Rather than ponder these questions at the unfamiliar man’s doorstep, I walked back out to the street and realized that I was completely in the dark (literally and metaphorically speaking.)  I had no doubt The Golfer would’ve told me if he were moving in with friends or getting a new place, especially considering we talked nearly every day and I was in fact, moving myself.  What was the explanation? … and then everything became clear.  The Golfer’s new living arrangements likely included a new romance…

Flashbacks of our firework beginning flashed in front of me, and it occurred to me that all the bad timing and failed efforts were probable signs that The Golfer was pursuing someone new, and more important, successfully.  When did all of this happen and why didn’t I catch on before now?  In my emotional (and regretful) state, I left The Golfer a colorful message about deceiving me and returned home feeling confused and hurt.  It was the end of something that I thought might possibly be beginning again.  He tried to reach me the following day, unaware of what had prompted my voicemail filled with four letter words and tears but we still haven’t talked.  I don’t know that there is anything left to say…  I have, however, been left wondering if friendships really are possible with an ex or if the past always manages to creep into the present.  Has anyone had successful friendships with an ex while they were both still single?  Or are Exes just someone to hang out with until someone new comes along?

I’m still mulling over what to do next about the Ex, and how to put him behind me.  While I know hundreds of books with advice on falling in love exist, I couldn’t think of any that covered falling out of love.  Luckily, I found the hilariously funny and smart book, “Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Ex”, by Michelle Fiordaliso and Heather Belle.  Forty years after David Reuben’s infamous book, Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex, Michelle and Heather help you figure out “what to do when the sex is over, and you’re left with an Ex.”  I’m learning quite a few things, including how to be a better Ex myself.

What are your thoughts and experiences with the Ex?  Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated…

I’ve always been a fan of LinkedIn and lately I’ve found myself showing more colleagues and friends how to use the site.  So for those of you that don’t know about LinkedIn, or for those of you who haven’t taken the time to check it out, I thought I’d give a brief description of what it is and why I think it is a valuable tool for ANYONE in the workforce (or for many of us that are trying to get back in). It’s like business networking without having to leave the house. You can join college alumni groups, industry groups, find old friends and colleagues, etc. and see what they are doing professionally. If your city doesn’t have many groups, start one! I’ve even started a group for Independent Belle so we can also connect via LinkedIn.

A lot of companies have group profiles, allowing you to get current information, and see if there are any company needs, etc. I recently reconnected with a lot of my sorority’s alumni that are located here in Chicago. Its been exciting to meet new people who I have something in common with, and not only that but we’ll all probably have an opportunity in the future to help each other out professionally in some way!

The thing I like most about LinkedIn is that it is strictly professional and doesn’t have a lot of distracting extras like other social networking sites. They also have a great search feature so it’s easy to find people you know! For some great ways to use LinkedIn, I suggest reading Guy Kawasaki’s article on 10 Ways To Use LinkedIn for more ideas. After you’re done, get your profile set up and send a request to join the Independent Belle group.  You’ll start connecting to everyone as if you were out at that event holding a big martini, shaking hands, and collecting business cards in no time!

I know, I know, it all seems very overwhelming at times, especially in these times. I’ll try not to get all Suze Orman on you, but I’ve learned a lot working in the financial industry the past few years and if I could pass along one piece of information to my friends it would be to have a strong credit score! I know some of you may be familiar with your credit scores if you have bought a home, and having a high credit score can be HUGE in getting you the best interest rate on your mortgage, but there are other reasons to have a high credit score.

Those of you who know me, know that it is my passion to make us smarter, more supportive, knowledgeable and happy individuals. And part of that is being smart about our finances. It can be scary, trust me, I know. I’m single, and living in the middle of the city is very expensive. Sometimes making ends meet means working two jobs, and in times like these, you just have to let go of that pride and do what it takes. People will respect you for taking care of yourself and you will respect yourself, which is all that matters in the end belles!

So let’s start by finding out what we’re working with and learn what our credit score is. I’ve asked my friend Rich at www.mycreditscoreimprovement.com to answer a few questions for us about credit scores and why they are important, what areas of our life they affect, and what we can do to fix them. Here we go!

How much money could someone save on their monthly mortgage payment by raising their credit score from a 640 to a 720?

The difference of a 640 credit score and a 720 credit score could be a very large savings on a monthly basis.  Interest rates are based on the ability of a client to be able to repay their mortgage.  This is based on their financial track record (their credit report and the credit score they have obtained).  In today’s market this could mean as much as a 1% difference in interest rate.  For example, a 640 credit score could be a 7% interest and a 720 credit score a 6%.  Based on the loan amount, this could easily be a $150-200+ monthly payment difference.

I don’t own a home and I don’t plan on buying in the next year.  Why should I want to raise my credit score?

Credit scores are used for so many things today that a home purchase is just one of many.  The following is just a short list of what a credit score is looked at for:

Financial approval when renting an apartment

Financial approval when buying a car

Financial approval for any and all insurances (health, life, auto, home or renters insurance, etc)

When applying for a new job

Joining a health club

Applying for any and all credit cards

The biggest thing to remember is the better your credit score the less interest rate you will pay on financed items along with lower insurance rates.  What this means to you is money saved on payments and premiums.

Should I pay to get all three credit scores or just one?  What is a tri-merge?

When applying for an item that requires your credit score to be used as the deciding factor of approval and also interest rate and or payment amount, there are three credit reporting agencies that creditors report to.  This is why it is called a tri-merge, which means three credit reports combined to make one.  Many creditors will use the middle score for approval.  An example would be the following: 720, 667, and 708.  The middle score would be 708.

What are the easiest things I can do to raise my score?  What should I do first?

WOW, if you have read the answers to the questions above and feel that it sounds like a confusing process, well now you understand how important it is to have a good credit score.  So what is a good credit score?  A 740 middle score and above is what you need.  If you do not have a 740, the best thing to do is to hire a professional to help you increase your score.  The one thing we should all do is pay our bills on time, this will help keep your credit score constant, but it will not raise it.

My best answer is each credit report and financial situation is different.  Proper review and a proper plan for each credit report if followed will help each person obtain their highest possible credit score.

Thanks Rich!

If you have more questions about Rich’s services, check out the website at www.mycreditscoreimprovement.com. Let’s keep the conversation going, if you have ideas on ways to save money without completely sacrificing your lifestyle, leave a comment and share with the community. We’ll appreciate it!

Design-her Gals

I’ve been ordering note cards from Design-her Gals for years now and the thing I like most about them is that you can customize them in any way imaginable. You start by picking out your skin tone, hairstyle/cut/color, and then choose from hundreds of different outfit combinations. You can accessorize with shoes, jewelry, purses, etc. And if you see an adorable little yorkie on the site that looks like Henry, that’s right, they even made a custom illustration of him for me! Which is why I have to tell you how wonderfully kind and friendly the ladies at Design-her Gals are. It is run by a team of three brilliant women who are all friendly and willing to accommodate ideas of even the craziest of dog ladies like myself.

I have created note cards to send to customers to thank them for their business (in those I’m wearing a business suite and holding my blackberry and a briefcase). I’ve had some made with the Independent Belle web address on them (similar to the example below). I’ve even bought some for friends as engagement and wedding gifts (one set with their maiden name, one with their married name.) I’ve put an example of one of mine below so you can get an idea of what they look like.

There are TONS of great ideas on the site, so go check it out and DESIGN YOUR GAL!  You can send e-cards from the site so send me an email at Laura@IndependentBelle.com and let me see your gal!

I love to Jott

I recently had to come up with some “best practices” that I use to help me stay organized, or just stay on top of life’s chaos in general. So I thought I would share some of them in the next few posts in hopes that they will help you too!

Jott.com- I use Jott a number of ways. Jott takes your voice messages and transcribes them into text, and then delivers them to the specified recipient via email or text message (however you choose.) This is especially helpful when I am driving and need to email/respond to friends, family, or work items. I’ll call Jott and it works like this:

Jott: “Who do you want to Jott?”

Me: “Regional” (which is a distribution list I have set up for my regional team)

Jott: “Just to confirm, you’d like to Jott Regional?”

Me: “Yes”

Jott: “Okay, Jott…”

Me: “Hey guys, have you registered for the IMBA Annual Dinner? Are you bringing any customers? Let me know! Thanks!”

Hang up.

Jott will then take the message I left and send my regional team an email with my transcribed message. This way I don’t have to send the email on my blackberry while driving. Not only that but it allows me to get a lot of my follow up items done on my way home so I can spend time with my family (i.e. Henry.)

Jott will also transcribe your voicemail messages into text and send them to you via email or text message. I find this most helpful when I’m in an account or a seminar/meeting and I receive a voice message. Jott sends me a text message so I can see if the message is urgent and needs immediate attention.

You can listen to your favorite RSS Feeds via Jott as well, which is nice if you don’t have access to a computer or don’t have time to sit down and read them. There is a ton of information on the site and its simple to set up. The good thing is, once you have it set up, its done and you don’t have to constantly manage and update it. I’ve even set up a group (distribution list) with all of my family so I can send them updates without having to make 15 different phone calls.

If you have questions about Jott or want to learn more, go to www.Jott.com.

Welcome !!!

Hi everyone! I am both excited and overwhelmed as I begin this blog. Excited because it is the beginning of 2009, a new year, with infinite possibilities and opportunities that I can’t even begin to imagine. Overwhelmed because, like you I’m sure, life seems to get more difficult to manage gracefully as each year passes. I feel like I’ve seen it, been through it, wanted, had, lost, and dealt with it all, although I know I haven’t. I won’t begin this with any boring New Year’s resolutions and vows to avoid food after midnight, because I’m sick of letting myself down. What I am going to resolve to do is give myself a break, and I hope you will too. In preparation of doing this, I’m forcing myself to be very honest about where I am in life. I’ve written down the ugly truth about the things I’m not so proud of, and getting them out of my mind and on paper was scary but also a relief.

So wherever you’re at in life, whether it be lonely, depressed, unhappy at work, unfulfilled in a relationship, out of touch with friends, out of touch with your money, overweight, underpaid, stuck, unmotivated, or unfocused, there won’t be any judgment placed here. Even the best of us have skeletons in our closets. If you haven’t dealt with them and feel like you need to, put them down on paper and then give yourself a break because beating yourself up doesn’t change anything. Once you’ve made your list, take a look at it and then read this: “I can manage this.” I’m not saying in every case you won’t need help, we all do at some point in our lives, but that is also part of being able to manage things.

One more thing before you put it away someplace safe, (so you aren’t dwelling on it every day), think of one person you can tell. If you don’t trust anyone that much, send it here and it will be kept confidential. Hell, send it to Henry, he knows all of my secrets and despite my attempts, I’ve never been able to get him to talk.

Now go take a bubble bath, write in your gratitude journal, have a glass of red wine or something equally rewarding and GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK (and quit rewarding yourself with Coach bags if you’re in debt sweetheart!)