A Beautiful Stranger…
Photo by: Tim McCoy
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t ever fallen for a handsome face. It normally starts with a girls night out, a few drinks, and the next thing you know you spot him at the bar. Common sense tells you to look away but you’ve been burned recently and that develish belle on your shoulder is whispering, “you deserve to have a little fun!” So when he smiles that charming grin at you… it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea to give him a nod to come over.
Maybe you have more drinks, maybe you end up dancing, maybe his friends meet your friends, or maybe it’s closing time before you’re ready to say farewell. What’s a Belle to do? (Note: we all know EXACTLY what we should do at this point, but we’re also thinking without the influence of dirty martinis, red patent “Stewies“ and diamante lashes.) The rest of the night can turn out a number of different ways, depending on how deviant that devilish belle on your shoulder is, but after all is “said” and “done”, we’re in the same predicament when the sun comes up….
Is now the time to panick? No. Is now the time to ask yourself how the HELL this happened? No. Belles, now is the time to recover with class and haul ass. Which is precisely why I will refer to the brilliant experts responsible for the famed, “Worst Case Scenario Handbook“, for the best way to handle the unfortunate situation you’ve gotten yourself into. What situation would I be referring to???
HOW TO SURVIVE IF YOU WAKE UP NEXT TO SOMEONE WHOSE NAME YOU DON’T REMEMBER…
Here’s what to do…
“If you wake up at their place:
1. Do not panic. Evidence of your partner’s name exists somewhere nearby. Your task will be to find it before he awakens, or before he starts any sort of meaningful conversation.
2. Get up and go to the bathroom. The bathroom is a normal place to visit first thing in the morning, and it is also a place where you might discover his name.
3. Look through the medicine cabinet for prescription medicines with his name on the label.
4. Sort through magazines, looking for subscription labels with his name and address.
5. Go through wastebasket to find discarded junk mail addressed to him.
6. Return to the bedroom. If he is awake, ask him to make coffee for you. Use the time alone to search the bedroom for evidence. Look for: wallet, checkbook, ID, photo album, business cards (a stack of cards, not just one), or luggage labels. If he is sleeping, look for these and other items throughout the house.
BE AWARE: Try to find at least two items with the same name to be certain that you have identified him, unless the name on one item rings a bell.”
OR, HEAVEN FORBID
Here’s what to do if…
You’ve brought the beautiful stranger to your place:
“1. Use terms of endearment when addressing him. Do not guess his name. Acceptable terms of endearment are:
*Honey/Sweetie/Cutie
*Darling/Baby/Sugar
*Beautiful/Handsome/Gorgeous
2. Unless you are certain you have ample time, do not go through his belongings. If your partner is showering, you can count on having at least a few minutes of privacy to search through his belongings. Otherwise, do not risk it – it would be far more embarrassing to be caught searching through his possessions than to admit you cannot remember his name. (He may be in the same predicament.)
3. Ask leading questions while making small talk. Fishing for information is risky and can backfire by calling attention to what you are trying to do. However, if you feel you can pull it off, try to trick him into revealing his name:
* While getting dressed, pull out your own ID and ask him if he thinks that your hair is better now or in the picture. Laugh about how silly you used to look. Ask him if he likes the picture on his license. (He may think you are checking his age.)
* Ask him if he ever had a nickname. He might say, “No, just (Name).”
4. As he is leaving, give him your business card and ask for his. If he does not have a business card, ask him to write his vital information on yours.”
Belles, now the indiscretion is over. You can breath a sigh of relief because you have either discovered their name or you have at least gotten them out your front door. Either way, the horror is done for now. Your next steps are crucial for your recovery from this bad hiccup. Rather than beating yourself up about what happened, go to the kitchen and fix yourself a bowl of fresh berries with whip creme and a large glass of water (sparkling if you’re feeling hungover.) Then get your cell phone off the charger and text your girlfriends immediately so they can have a laugh with you about how alcohol leads to great workouts on the dancefloor and bad decisions off.
Afterall, what’s done is done. You can’t hit rewind so you might as well learn from the situation and move on. If you can laugh at yourself in the process, you’re ahead of the game….
